Snappy jingles and cool names were never our fortes.
We focus on function and then form. Spanning from spinning up chemical manufacturing facilities to abusing the latest Apple API, we do a little of everything while making it seem effortless.

Unconventional?
Maybe
Effective?
You bet your ass.

Sounds cool? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Sounds Ridiculous?
Ugghh fine; in the last few years we:

• Designed, deployed, and maintained an air-gapped inventory tracking solution for an industry stuck in the 1970s. Old people be scared of tech, yo.. but we love dragging them kicking and screaming in to 2022.
• $20k spend/mo generating outlandish conversions and even cease and desist orders from the competition for our web customers. Avg $8 return per $1 spent my G. Peep real click game.
• Stealthily deployed non-US industry-disrupting manufacturing equipment out of the competitor's reach. Redesigned workflows, core machinery design, HMI elements, and chemical formulas to be competitive in the western market. At the time of this writing, there are 4 units in production with more coming to upset everyones little applecart.
• Converted derelict property into an award-winning culinary powerhouse that continues to thrive. Will we franchise? No... Dream big: This is a complete community revitalization solution.
• Manages thousands of cases of fine vino for importation each year, hand-picked for the best of the US market.
• Maintains a fleet of autonomous vehicles that service the agricultural and utility industries - imagry, diagnosis, preventative maintenance, and ag treatment. (yep, all under one roof)
• Design/Fabricate mobile command units that utilize the latest non-terrestrial networks (props Elon) in-line with the latest ML rekognition training sets to save humans miles of bipedal labor - we riding this thing out till Skynet comes.